Wrong, Just Wrong.

According to this here news article, which might as well have been titled I Always Knew Penguins Looked Kind of Fruity, "two male penguins who have developed a budding romance at a Canadian zoo will be separated so they can mate and breed with their female counterparts."

Wrong, just wrong.  And I'm not simply referring to the fact that zookeepers are splitting up an obviously-interracial couple (I mean, "Buddy" and "Pedro"?  One of those is clearly Mexican).  No, I am also referring to the fact that - if you look at the ages - Buddy has a solid 11 years on Pedro (who is only 10).  Disgusting.

However, I also see that their "romantic gestures include sleeping together every night, defending their territory, making mating calls and constantly standing alone together."  Is that not normal?  Do only penguins do this?  Well, shit, then, I must be part penguin, because that's how the majority of my boyfriends and I have acted.  Especially the mating calls part.

The zoo's curator of birds (that job title actually exists?  Seriously?) has been quoted as saying, "Two girls have been following them; we just have to get the boys interested in looking at them."  Yeah, good luck with THAT.  Already knowing the shitstorm of gay penguin love that you're up against, if you can't even get the boys to look at the two hussies, how in the fuck exactly do you plan on getting them to sex 'em up?  I knew from the second I saw it that "Curator of Birds" was a bullshit title.

But, apparently, this is isn't the first time two gay penguins have fallen in love (no, really?  Because homosexuality doesn't exist in nature, OH NO SUH!).  The article describes a similar incident that occurred at the Central Park Zoo in 2004, in which another gay duo "was offered an abandoned egg, which they hatched and raised together."  You know what I gather from that?  Gay penguins were being given more rights in 2004 than gay men are now.  Still, only in New York, people.  Imagine what would have transpired if these gay lovebirds had found themselves in a Texas zoo.  There would have been some tiny lynches involved, I tell you somethin'.