If It Struts Like a Cougar, Dresses Like a Cougar, And Talks Like a Cougar...

...but is only 24 years-old, then it might not be a cougar just yet.  But give it time.

West Palm Beach-er, Queen Fruit Fly and Miami brunette Barbie-doll Stefaknee read the post below, This Isn't A Comedy, It's A Horror Film, and within minutes had pounced on me like - you guessed it - a cougar, for defamation and exaggeration of her character.  As she refuted:

Stefaknee:  "Why, WHY, do you continue to call me a gold digger/cougar-in-training? I finance your cigarettes and martinis, for Christ's sake.  I couldn't be more opposite.  Now, if you talkin' bout my fine ass, that's another story."

Me:  "Stefaknee, babygirl, maybe one of these days you learn some proof reading skills, hmm?  Because if you look closely, while I do call you a cougar-in-the-making, I say nothing about gold digging.  Meaning that one of these days - God forbid you procreate - you'll be the bitchy and successful hot mother on the block who pulls up next to her son's high school water polo buddies in her Mercedes convertible and tells them that she has candy in the backseat.  Kind of like Courteney Cox."  [Or Melinda Clarke on The O.C.]

Stefaknee was also quick to point out that her alias for this site wasn't very subtle, and told me not to write anything that could prove fodder for her she-devil boss.  I replied,

Me:  "I'm not that bad.  I do have a brain, and the alcohol hasn't killed all of its cells yet."

Stefaknee:  "Mmmm.  Debatable.  You'd be like, 'But your alias!  It's inscrutable!'  And I'd have to go out to Chicago and wring your pretty neck (probably your motive, to get me there)."  [Well, the girl ain't no stupid.]

 

Stefaknee's television counterpart.  They even have the same exact sultry hair and cat-like eyes.  The resemblance is disturbingly uncanny, minus about 15 years and the gold-digging, of course.