Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Please, Take Your Infinite Stupidity Elsewhere

So today, right?  As I was scrolling through my Facebook mini-feed, I stumbled upon this real gem of a photo:


If you ask me, this obviously-Republican college senior seems like a ripe candidate for Arrogant Asshat of the Month if I ever saw one.  Is it a guy or girl?  I'm not sure, because whoever it is has wisely hidden their face.  I'll assume it's a man, since it would take a lot of testosterone to fill one's head with the crippling superiority complex as witnessed above.

"Working 30+ hours a week making barely above minimum wage"?  First of all, that's not very difficult, but it's certainly not glamorous either - unless you do it at Abercrombie & Fitch, like I did.  And then it's still not glamorous, just boozy.

"Moderately priced, in-state public university"?  An in-state public university?  Well then, what's the point in boasting about a 3.8 GPA?  From the sounds of it, he's not even going to a Public Ivy.  Book-But-No-Street-Smarts up there doesn't realize that no one looks twice at your GPA after college; you're lucky if they even take a first look.  Neither does he realize that, if you actually have a level of intelligence that would insinuate you're smarter than those attending the nearest community college, you can still get a GPA to be proud of and party like a freshman recruit with a low alcohol tolerance during Rush Week.  That way - because you actually had something resembling a social calendar in between 24-hour-oh-shit-appointments at the library - you won't feel the need to rub your GPA in everyone's faces afterward.

"I got decent grades in high school and received two scholarships, which cover 90% of my tuition."  Yeah, about that, buddy, we all got "decent" grades in high school.  Some of us got "good," if not "excellent" grades.  And, as my friend divulged upon reading your Confession of Douchery, "I had 100% of my tuition covered, and it only took ONE scholarship."

Finally, as if I would ever go around flaunting the fact that I live "below my means"...what does that even mean?!  No wonder he has to hide behind a piece of paper; most likely to cover his taped-up glasses and knocked-out teeth, because I have no doubt that this guy right here is one of the rare few who gets bullied in college.  Is this some type of a satire, or something equally insipid that I just don't get?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready to go watch the over-privileged who don't make it into the aforementioned 99% on Revenge.

2 comments:

  1. I assumed it was a smart-ass annoying girl. The one who doesn't stop asking questions when everyone else is ready to leave class. The one who studies too much for easy classes so she can get her 3.8 GPA. And who brags about saving for college at age 19 (or 17, can't really tell with the shitty handwriting). Way to save for college as you enter/are going through it. How about you get 1 scholarship that covers 100% and another that supplies you with money to live off of so you don't have to work 30 hours a week at Lady Footlocker. Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete